Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
