Swine flu. Run for my life!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
