This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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