I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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