her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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