He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Someone shit on the floor
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
