As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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