i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
