Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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