Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
