The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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