3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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