Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dicks are not precious.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
