i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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