Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
