Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
this hospital has no fireball
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
