you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
