Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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