Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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