Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
