i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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