so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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