she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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