Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
