Kiss
Puke
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
