it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
