Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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