Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
