Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There r osticjed everywhere
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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