big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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