We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
