ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
