Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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