You really coming over, don't trick.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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