you traded sex for a burrito?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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