Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
