do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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