talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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