After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
