We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
