You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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