Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
