I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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