we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
