i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Randomize
