the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
