when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
