sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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