If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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