She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
