summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
