I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
