gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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